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A (Re)Lapse in Judgement

The beauty of sports can be found in the raw emotion of the game.

Emotion is found in your team’s success and failures.  As a fan, you grow an emotional attachment not only to the team itself, but also to individual players, coaches, and owners. 

A full range of emotions can be felt from game to game or from season to season, depending on the success of your team and the players that you have chosen to follow.  The ebbs and flows of this emotional roller coaster are a substantial part of what brings us back to the game; with eternal hope for the greatest joys that can be provided through triumph, giving us a chance to vicariously experience the greatest accomplishments.

Some players provide fans with a larger range of emotion than others.

Josh Hamilton has always been one of those players. 

As the news broke on Wednesday that Josh Hamilton had suffered a relapse, my mind raced as I sat at my computer to look for more information.  I was hoping it was just alcohol.  I was hoping that maybe he was just having an issue with the pain pills provided after his shoulder surgery. 

As CBS Sports broke the news that Hamilton had turned himself in for cocaine use, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach or betrayed by an old friend. 

I began to think only about baseball and rationalize the situation in cut and dry terms as a Rangers fan.

“Well, at least he isn’t our problem anymore.”

“This never would have happened if he stayed in Texas.”

“Should have seen this coming with his wife going into reality TV.”

“I hope MLB does not suspend him so the Angels are still stuck with that awful contract.”

I sat at my computer, rationalizing the issue, looking past what was really going on and quickly throwing Josh Hamilton under the bus as an idiot who should appreciate what he has been blessed with.  I mean, who in their right mind would not want to play baseball for a living, much less for a $125 million contract?

Then, as this wave of selfishness dissipated, I thought of Josh Hamilton the human being.  I stopped thinking about my allegiance to the Rangers and started thinking about what a horrible thing addiction is and how many people have fallen to its clutches in one way or another. 

My shock and disappointment rapidly turned to sadness.

Something about Hamilton provided a strange attachment to so many people.  People loved his story of recovery.  Fans went nuts over how long he hung around and signed autographs.  Non-baseball fans loved his constant vocalization of his religious beliefs.  Baseball purists loved the sound of the ball coming off of his bat or watching the length of his sweet swing. 

Josh Hamilton was a story of success, the exception to the rule, a real life version of a Disney sports movie; overcoming so much to find prosperity.

We bought in. 

A unique combination of events lead to fans forgetting the reality of everything Hamilton had been through.  With Josh, we became used to the weird; the Red Bull addiction, the issues with blue eyes, giving up tobacco, and the death of Shannon Stone.  The constant barrage of stories from every day Josh distracted greatly from the past of Josh. 

Glowing memories of Hamilton’s MVP season and of his homerun derby performance in New York had so much more power than the whispers of his mistakes.  Hamilton’s biography, Beyond Belief, offered a version of his story that left the reader believing that he had been cured of everything that had previously ailed him. 

Therein lies the problem. 

No one is ever truly cured of addiction.  No one.                   

Sure, people can beat addiction.  Addicts can improve themselves, avoid the situations where they will be tempted, or change their life to move on from their vices.  But the temptation is never completely gone and no one is actually cured. 

The treatment of those with addiction or mental health issues in this country is far different than in so many others.  We treat these as if they are a taboo; we ignore them, we laugh at them, we place blame.  So often when these issues fall on an athlete or celebrity, we are so quick to judge them and find ourselves unable to understand how someone of such privilege cannot keep their life together.  We tend to only look at the positives of their life, unable to, or even unwilling to, step back and look at the possible negative aspects as well. 

Do you honestly think that a line of cocaine is more important to Josh Hamilton than baseball, his family, or the $90 million he has left on his contract?  Do you think that Johnny Manziel would willingly pick a bottle of liquor over a second Heisman?  Do you think Phillip Seymour Hoffman preferred heroin to an Oscar?

No.

Of course not. 

Yet these things are a running joke to us. 

According to drugabuse.gov, a recovering alcoholic gives up alcohol without relapse 1 in 36 times.  One in thirty-six!  A cocaine addict is successful without relapse 6.8% of the time.  These numbers are astonishing. 

You know what else these numbers are?  Completely and totally blind to your career, your financial status, and your celebrity. 

Josh Hamilton is an addict, he will openly admit it.  The Rangers knew it.  The Angels knew it.  We know it as fans.  The odds are stacked against him. 

As Hamilton took me through my range of sports emotions today, I came full-circle by finding the tiniest beacon of hope. 

Josh Hamilton did not fail a drug test, he called the MLB compliance office and turned himself in.  It sounds cliché, but the first step is admitting.  If you join an addiction group, one of the biggest things they teach you is to admit when you slip up, to own your mistakes.  Apparently, Josh Hamilton did just that. 

At this point, as a baseball fan, I think the Josh Hamilton that gave us so much joy in Arlington is gone.  The joy of seeing someone who could debatably be the best player on the planet no longer exists.  It’s time to give up on that hope. 

Instead, let’s wish that Josh Hamilton, the human being, beats this.  Let’s desire that a person who once provided us elation and optimism finds those very things within his own life, without the help of substances.  If Josh Hamilton never sees another pitch, but leads a happy, clean life, it is just fine with me, and by no means am I saying that as a scorned fan.

Get better, Josh.  Do whatever it takes. 

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One More Strike

According to Terrance Mann, the James Earl Jones played character in Field of Dreams, “baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again.”

As accurate as this quote is for the extensive history of the game of baseball, it also rings true for the lives of so many fans. 

I am proud to be one of those fans and excited that the next step with my ever-evolving relationship with the game of baseball will be with One Strike Away and the ESPN SweetSpot Network. 

The game of baseball has always been a huge part of my life, starting with some of the happiest memories of my childhood.  As I moved to a new town in the third grade, I quickly latched on to other boys who traded baseball cards; checking values and making trades as if I was the general manager of a team.  My prized card in the collection?  A 1969 Topps Nolan Ryan card. 

As I began to adjust to small town life, I found that my play on the baseball field helped my social life much more than my growing binder of Ryan cards ever would.  The countless hours spent throwing a baseball at a tire in the backyard while pretending to be Nolan translated into an obsession that opened many doors in my life, with the baseball field providing so many of my greatest memories in both high school and college. 

Baseball is a game of ebbs and flows, a game of mental strength and endurance, and a game of hope.  So many of the events of my life can be carefully marked by coinciding events of the Texas Rangers and either the joy, hope, or sorrow that my team was providing. 

1999 was the year of my high school graduation, but it will always be remembered for the Rangers’ American League West Championship and the playoff drought that would follow. 2001 was my last year of playing competitive baseball, but will forever be further marred by being the year the Rangers sold their souls to Alex Rodriguez.  My son was born in 2010, but whenever I hear anyone reference that year, I immediately think of the World Series. 

Not only has baseball “marked the time” in my life, but every time I watch a game or step on a field, I am clearly reminded of “all that once was good and it could be again”.  I am fortunate enough to have an opportunity to coach high school baseball and help instill the joy, memories, and life lessons that the game has to offer to the next generation of baseball addicts. I hope to give something back to a game that has given me so much and am constantly looking for new avenues to stay involved within baseball. 

One Strike Away is providing me with my newest avenue and I greatly look forward to having the opportunity to make more memories with Texas Rangers baseball. 

My greatest memory as a fan of the Texas Rangers actually came from a loss.  Saturday, July 10, 2010, in a game that I was able to watch due to local Baltimore Orioles coverage here in Virginia, I was able to lean back in a hospital recliner with my son, who was not even a full day old at this point, and watch our first baseball game together.  I remember seeing Cliff Lee take the field in a Rangers uniform for the first time and thinking, “Wow, we’ve got something special and amazing here”, then looking down at my son and knowing the same was true with him. 

Of course I knew my son was special.  After all, I did just name him Nolan.  

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Joe Saunders DFA’d

Apparently, last night’s outing from Joe Saunders was enough for the organization, as he has been designated for assignment today, making room for the Rangers to recall Miles Mikolas and place him into the rotation for the time being.

Saunders, of course, struggled mightily in recent weeks after his luck finally ran out, putting up an ERA of 6.13 in 39.2 innings pitched. Furthermore, his xFIP ended up at 5.16, so he didn’t exactly leave much hope of any improvement coming in the future.

With the Rangers hovering around the bottom of the AL West, now seems as good a time as any to get a younger player some time at the Major League level. Mikolas, 25, has put up an ERA of 3.22 at AAA Round Rock in 44.2 innings pitched this year, and his strikeout, home run, and walk rates are good enough that they could play out well enough at the Major League level for him to eat some innings for the time being.

Given that the Rangers had some time to make this decision, it’s a bit surprising how swiftly they acted, but it’s not surprising overall that the move did indeed happen. Now, we’ll get to see what Miles Mikolas can show us.

The Rangers are 37-44

Colby Lewis pitched well, surrendering just two runs on five hits over six innings on Sunday. He finished with eight strikeouts and no walks, and threw only 92 pitches. It was his best start of 2014.

The offense, however — that’s managed 35 runs during the team’s current 2-9 skid — scored only twice, and Joakim Soria allowed an uncharacteristic 9th inning run on two timely hits, helping the Twins avoid the sweep.

On the bright side, at 37-44 we’re now halfway through this miserable baseball season. 

The Rangers are 37-43

Does anyone remember that 8-game losing streak? It’s been nicely erased by a 2-game streak of the winning variety.

Yu Darvish was back to his old self, erasing any concerns that may have stemmed from his previous 2 outings. He went 8 strong innings on 110 pitches, 76 for strikes, ammassing 10 strikeouts on 4 hits, and perhaps most importantly, only allowing one walk while blanking the Minnesota Twins on the scoreboard.

The Rangers were up 2-0 heading into the bottom of the 8th inning, but after last night, apparently decided that 2 runs weren’t enough, and quickly added a 3rd run on a squeeze play by Luis Sardinas and then 2 more runs on a Leonys Martin double that plated the remaining baserunners. Neal Cotts was able to put up a quick 1-2-3 9th inning, and Texas closed out a 5-0 victory.

All in all, it was a good game for Texas. I know that things have been bleak lately and that the organization has every reason to be looking for a decent draft pick, but winning baseball is still more fun to me than losing baseball, and in that way, I’m still able to enjoy individual victories even when the ball club is still well below .500.

Should the Rangers win another tomorrow, we’ll have the welcome sight of a series sweep, but a series victory, for the time being, is definitely sweet.